Remind Yourself ~ Daily Log 4/30

The weather might suck but I'm not letting it get me down.  I went out to a yummy breakfast this morning with a couple of my friends, had an appointment on campus, worked out, studied, and later tonight I'm going to see the movie Disconnected :)

I put one of my new necklaces on today to help give me the strength to take control of my day and my emotions.  It is a dragon on a red gemstone which symbolizes strength, protection, and motivation to pull through. I absolutely love it and it helps to have a reminder.

"Its not always rainbows and butterflies... its compromise that moves us along. My heart is full, and my door is always open."

 

On our way back from breakfast this morning, my friends and I had a Michael Buble kick.  We're all obsessed with him, and especially his song "I Just Haven't Met You Yet." My God, I finally watched the music video and I am so obsessed with him.  And the lyrics really resonate :) This song can put you in a better mood any day.

"I'm not surprised, not everything lasts

I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.

Talk myself in, I talk myself out

I get all worked up then I let myself down.

 

And I know some day that it'll all turn out

You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.

And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get

I just haven't met you yet.

 

I might have to wait, I'll never give up

I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck.

Wherever you are, whenever its right

You'll come out of nowhere and into my life."

 

Oh, and I got my graduation photos back :) I can't believe how close I am to graduating...

 

 







 

Breakfast

• 1 Fried Egg, Pasilla Chile, 1/2 Potato, & Cheese

Workout

• 1 min run (6 mph), 2 min power-walk (4 mph), 7x
• 80 Jumping Jacks
• 50 Vertical Leg Crunches
• 20 Sit-ups
• 15 Tricep Dips
• 10 Side Lunges (each leg) w/ 10 lb weight
• 15 Leg Lifts & 10 circular lifts (each leg)
• 50 Bicycles
• 15 Wall Push-ups
• 40 Russian Twists w/ 10 lb weight

Lunch

• Broiled Tilapia w/ Goat Cheese, Brown Rice, & Steamed Zucchini, Asparagus, Mushrooms, & Spinach

Dinner

• Mango Chobani Greek Yogurt
• Popcorn

Drinks

• 9 cups of water
• 4 cups of coffee
• 4 cups of green tea

Keep Your Head Up ~ Daily Log 4/29

I feel like I've been going, going, going for the past 5 days straight.  So much to do, so much to plan, and yet all I want to do is just cuddle up in my blankets.  Despite everything, I did have some fun.  I got to try a couple new food places along with some new wines and also checked out a gem show where I was able to buy some really unique pieces, including 2 Tibetan pendants that symbolize strength and healing.  I'm wearing one of them for the first time today and just having a reminder of strength I feel helps me pull through everything.

Today is a crazy day... I have office hours, ballroom dancing, class, shopping for my event, setting up the event, the event itself, and all throughout just hoping that the event goes well.  Hopefully if I'm not drained by the end of it I can make it to the gym and grocery store because I have absolutely no food at my house.

 

~...Later in the Day...~

 

The event was a success!  A lot of people showed up, all the food was eaten, and everyone seemed to have a good time. I'm just glad its over now!  I went grocery shopping with a friend and they happened to have a really great sale on beer (like $2-$3 for a large beer) so we grabbed a couple and then went home to watch How I Met Your Mother (I can't believe I'm already on the 8th season!).  I'm really glad my friend was there for me, I really didn't want to be alone and she can cheer me up anyday <3

Breakfast

• Frozen Dinner Tortellini (240 cal) - I didn't lie... I have absolutely no food.

Lunch

• Salad w/ Spicy Chicken, Goat Cheese, & Red Onion

Mini-Workout

• 1 hr Ballroom Dancing

Snack

• Strawberry Greek yogurt w/ Granola

Dinner

• Salad w/ Tomato, Cucumber, Red Onion, Goat Cheese, & Lemon Chicken

Drinks

• 9 cups of water
• 2 cups of coffee
• 6 cups of green tea
• 2 beers

Time Keeper

  "Time keeper, I wish I could start over again I'm too young To be feeling this way Yeah I'm wasted as I lie awake There goes another day.   Time keeper, I thought I'd have it right by now. Time keeper, Everything is still spinning out I'm undone.   So choke the dawn and damn the daylight Time is just an invisible line. Time keeper, I'm hoping you hear me, tonight.   Tell me I'm gonna be alright."

Shadows ~ Daily Log 4/27

Fairy tales are lies. You grow up watching Disney movies and learning that love just happens and that your prince charming will find you, be the perfect man for you, and you will live happily ever after. But that just doesn't happen.  The older you get, the more this becomes clear. 

Relationships take a lot of work, and not everyone is ready for one.  But how do you know if you're ready?

My last relationship was both amazing and horrific.  We had some beautiful times, and I truly considered him my best friend.  I thought I had found something special, unique, and lasting.  Then things would begin to go downhill... but it was so easy to just try and move past these things and go back to the good times.  I would always tell myself that all of the bad times were temporary and unusual, but I think deep down I knew they weren't.  It was evident that our relationship was toxic to the both of us, but neither of us wanted to let go because of that sweet addiction to the feeling we had when we first started.  And so we destroyed each other.  I became terrified of him.

I will always love him, and I know there will be times that I wish I could just hold him close.  But with maturity comes the responsibility of knowing when to let something go.  Knowing when something is slowly tearing you apart and that you can't take it any longer.  Knowing that fear isn't healthy.

I am doing my best to live day by day with the focus of bettering myself and appreciating everything that I have been blessed with.  I'm not going to lie... it is not easy sometimes.  But life isn't easy, and obviously love is even harder.  It is something we all strive for, yet few succeed in for long periods of time. 

May we all find the strength, courage, and determination to live every day to its fullest and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and accepting enough to appreciate and recognize love when we find it.

"Those that go searching for love only manifest heir own lovelessness.  And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love.  And they never have to seek for it." ~D.H. Lawrence

 

"My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more.  It's happened before, it will happen again, I'm sure.  When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive - I'll find love again." ~Paulo Coelho

 

"We waste time looking for the perfect love, instead of creating the perfect love." ~Tom Robbins

 

"Find someone worthy of your love, who will treat you with the same amount of respect and love you will give... because not everyone deserves your love."

 

Breakfast

• 2 Spring Rolls

Lunch

• Cajun Shrimp (lots & lots of deliciousness)

Snack

• Cheese & Crackers

Dinner

• Teppan - Scallops, some Fried Rice, Vegetables (I could barely eat any)

Drinks

• 7 cups of water
• 5 cups black tea
• 1 glass of wine

Who knew.

  "The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is."

Change ~ Daily Log 4/24

I woke up early this morning to write a last minute paper for my Italian culture class.  It is so strange that even though my work load is lighter than its ever been in school, I procrastinate more than ever.  No matter, I finished it and I'm not too worried about it. I'm just glad I actually woke up on time to write it.


Biking to and from school today was kind of miserable.  The weather right now can't choose between fog and rain, so the result is a very misty / sprinkly atmosphere.  It is also cold as hell.  Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until after I left the house.  I'm a trooper, though.  I had ballroom dancing where I learned the foxtrot and swing, then I biked over to Starbucks for a pick me up.  I had another class soon after then I rushed as quickly as I could home to the warmth of my lovely apartment.  A lovely nap ensued.

I had my weekly meeting at 5:30, but this week they made it an appreciation with a raffle and dinner.  Very tasty free meal and I got to catch up with some great people, and I was actually able to make plans with one of them which will be really nice :) Sometimes you have to branch out and learn other perspectives and try new things.

Tonight will probably be pretty boring... I just got home and I have an empty fridge and a lot of dirty laundry.  I also just finished a home work out inspired by Body Rock TV.  I really couldn't bring myself to go to the gym due to the weather and a minor headache but I also felt incredibly guilty just sitting down on the couch since I didn't work out yesterday.  I remembered finding out about Body Rock a few months back but I never had the chance to try it because I felt like it required a lot of equipment.  However, they have a new Hiit series that doesn't require any equipment! See the work out I did below. 

Breakfast

• Hashbrowns w/ 1 Fried Egg

Mini-Workout

• 1 hr Ballroom Dancing

Lunch

• Salad w/ Red Onion, Cucumber, & Goat Cheese with light Italian Dressing

Dinner

• Chicken tacos w/ rice & beans
• Kale Salad
• Strawberries

Workout

• 100 Jump Rope
• 40 Burpee Calf Raises
• 100 Jump Rope
• 60 Incline Push-ups
• 75 High Knees
• 40 Switch Lunges
• 75 High Knees
• 40 Squat & Kicks
• 75 High Knees
• 30 Tricep Dips
• 75 High Knees
• 40 Squat Jump & Dips
• 75 Butt Kickers
• 60 Mountain Climbers
• 75 Butt Kickers

Drinks

• 10 cups of water
• 4 cups of coffee
• 2 cups of green tea

This is the End ~ Daily Log 4/23

Today has been a great day so far!  I woke up and headed to Starbucks and sat out on the patio to do some reading.  Within 10 minutes, a guy with a guitar came around and played Bob Marley and other reggae songs :)  It was such a relaxing and amazing feeling to just sit there with the warm sun and cool breeze and relax to some great music.  It was definitely a beautiful start to my day!

Then I headed over to a signing for Seth Rogan, Danny McBride, & Craig Robinson for their movie "This is the End." 

After that, we booked it over to the theater to watch the advanced screening.  Unfortunately I didn't get the opportunity to grab food like my friends did before they started letting us in (an hour and a half early).  However, we got really great seats and... *drum roll please*... Seth Rogan, Danny McBride, & Craig Robinson all sat only 1 row away from us and watched the entire movie with us!!!!  We were lucky as hell because there were a few other showings and they sat in ours! We also got a Q&A session from them afterwards :D  It is a hysterical movie, and there are more movie stars in it than you can imagine! I might just go see it again when it comes out in theaters in June ^^

Needless to say, its been an awesomeeee day.

Breakfast

• Chicken Souvlaki Pita

Snack

• Popcorn

Dinner

• Fish Burrito

Drinks

• 7 cups of water
• 2 cups of black tea
• 4 cups of green tea
• Sprite (Yeah I know I hate it... but it was free and I was thirsty x.x)

 

Chances ~ Daily Log 4/22

It has already been a busy day, and its only 10:30am! Got up early and went to the office, which was a lot busier than usual.  Normally its my time where I can catch up on reading or homework, but not this time around.  I also have ballroom dancing, class, and the gym ahead of me.  Tonight I get to relax and go see a movie with some friends :)  I'm glad I have began to take initiative and plan these things - you should make things happen rather than wait for them to happen!

 

~...Later in the Day...~

 

My day picked up once I went to my ballroom class.  I love this class because it really pushes you out of your comfort zone, and everyone is vulnerable because we're all beginners.  You really get lost in the music, and its exciting to learn a new dance and then try it out with different partners.  I never realized how important each move is, and how you can tell within 30 seconds if your lead knows what he's doing. 

 

There's a 10 minute break in between the first class and the second (I'm in the second), and mostly everyone waits patiently along the sidelines waiting for the instructor as the TAs show off their moves in the middle of the room.  However, today was different.  One or two guys (out of the about 50 that come) decided to get the courage to ask a partner to dance and practice alongside the TA's.  I got asked to dance, and it was refreshing to just move with the music instead of listening to an instructor.  After this class is over at the end of this quarter, I really hope I can find a relatively cheap ballroom dancing class to continue with.  I'd hate for this fun to be over in 6 weeks!

 

I had an hour break in between my Italian culture class and the fitness class, so I got myself some green tea and relaxed outside on the grass.  To my luck, within a few minutes a guy came to the same field to work on his bike and started playing some music.  The combination of the beautiful blue skies, the light and refreshing breeze, the sun rays gently washing over me, and the music really just put me into an amazing place. 

 

So long story short its been a good day :) I've gotten plenty of exercise in, got to enjoy my surroundings, and tonight I get to go see a movie with my friends.  Find a reason to smile <3

And now for an amazing quote from How I Met Your Mother, Season 7 Episode 10:

Robin: There's something I have to tell you.
Kevin: Then don't.
R: What?
K: If there's one thing I've learned as a therapist, it's that just because something needs to be told doesn't always mean it needs to be heard.
R: Kevin, I did something bad.
K: We've all done bad things. Doesn't mean we're bad people. Look, I don't care about every detail from your past, and I hope you don't care about mine either.  What I do care about is you, and that from tonight forward, you're in this as much as I am.  What do you think?
R: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
K: I am constantly amazed by the things you say, entranced by the things you do, and unlike a certain Jalapeno Coconut Vodka martini,  you're easy on the eyes.  And if we're together long enough, I hope that one day you see yourself the way I see you.
 

Breakfast

• Jalapeno Chedder Chicken Lean Pocket

Snack

• Apple

Lunch

• 2 Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream (running out of groceries =X)

Mini-Workout

• 1 hr Ballroom Dancing

Snack

• Peach & Passion Fruit Liberte Greek yogurt

Workout

• Core Cardio Fitness Class - this class pushes me harder than I have ever been pushed before.

Dinner

• Lemon Pepper Chicken
• Brown Rice
• Steamed Asparagus
• Side Salad w/ Tomato, Cucumber, Red Onion & Light Cheesy Fantastico Dressing

Drinks

• 3.5 cups of coffee
• 9 cups of water
• 2.5 cups of green tea
• 1 cup of black tea

Beautiful ~ Daily Log 4/21

So it has been a very eventful 36 hours! Yesterday was one of the most beautiful days I have ever seen and I actually had it off from work, so I got to have a lot of fun with my friends.  First I went to a Holi celebration, which is an Indian tradition that brings people together to put aside their differences and just enjoy life.  This of course is complemented by throwing colored powder at everyone and dancing on the beach :) Definitely a fun experience, and I'm so glad we were able to go!

After that, we had some adventures... which included going to a different beach, trying a new food place, checking out some local events, and watching the sunset while chilling on the cliffs. It was definitely a great day! Then we relaxed with some drinks and games after the sun went down.

I am actually a little sore from walking so much yesterday, so at least I got some exercise in! Unfortunately I didn't make it this morning before work at 1pm, but I'll be back to it on Monday for sure.  About to head to work... makin' that money.

Breakfast

• Maple Oatmeal

Lunch

• Turkey Pesto Avocado Sandwich

Snack

• Key Lime 100 Calorie Greek Yogurt

Dinner

• 1 cup of Black Beans

Drinks

• 10 cups of water
• 2 cups of black tea
• 4 cups of green tea
• 2 cups of herbal tea
• 2 cups of coffee
• 1 glass of wine

Happy Holi!

Recuperation ~ Daily Log 4/19

I initially woke up at 11am, took a shower, but then passed back out until 1pm.  Sleeping only about 4 hours in total yesterday really got to me, but I'm feeling better now.  And even better news is that my friend is okay :)

I have my senior graduation pictures today, which completely stresses me out.  I've missed my appointment twice because I just absolutely hate the pressure of dressing all nice, smiling in just the right way, and hoping for the best.  Oh well, it'll just be nice to get it over with.

I was going to work out this morning but, as I said, I couldn't stay awake.  I still have completed 3 days at the gym this week and I also plan on going tomorrow and maybe Sunday (fingers crossed).  After I get my pictures taken, I just have work for a few hours then we shall see what happens tonight.

Ooh, I made a new pact with myself! Normally when I drink coffee out at places such as Starbucks, I use 2 Splendas and Half & Half.  I decided that since I drink so much of it (and this goes for tea as well), I am going to try to slowly cut back on sugar and only use nonfat milk.  I believe that small changes like this will help me reach my goal! So for the first week or two (I started on Tuesday), I will only use 1.5 packets of sugar.  Once I'm fine with that, just 1... and so on until I can drink my coffee/tea without sugar.  It'll definitely be a challenge, but so is everything that matters in life! Oh, and I'm trying to drink more tea :)


Brunch

• Broiled Swai w/ Goat Cheese, Brown Rice, & Steamed Vegetables

Dinner

• 2 Shrimp Tacos w/ Chipotle Sauce
• Side Salad with Sesame Dressing

Drinks

• 10 cups of black tea
• 2 cups of green tea
• 6 cups of water
• 2 beers

Chaos Theory ~ Daily Log 4/18

So today was a very trying and unpredictable day.  Yesterday my friend had been complaining that she felt dizzy and faint.  I offered to drive her to the ER if she was really worried about it, but she declined the offer.  At 4:30am this morning (I had gone to bed at 2am) I get a call from her, crying, asking if I could take her.  We were at the hospital from 4:30am to 10am, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.  They told her if the pain persisted until 5pm to come back for more tests.  I took her to the store to buy some clear liquids and then I took her home... it was so sad to see that she could barely stand, let alone walk.  I'm so glad that I could be there for her, and I really hope she'll be okay.  She was one of my friends who ensured that my birthday would be as good as possible... and I love her for it.  I'm just glad I could be there for her.

Today I was supposed to go to a Job Fair.  I spent 4 hours last night preparing my resume, practicing my 60 sec. "Elevator Pitch," and researching companies.  That started at 12pm.  I got home at 11am, exhausted.  I take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be.  At least my resume looks snazzy now! I passed out for 3.5 hours, and now I'm getting ready to head out to my classes (my website class and wine tasting class).  I hope I can stay awake long enough to appreciate everything, and I hope my friend is feeling better (she's still asleep).


Breakfast

• 100 Calorie Yoplait Peach Greek Yogurt

Snack

• 1 Cutie

Lunch

• 2 Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream & 1/2 Avocado

Snack

• Salami, Cheese, & Crackers (for wine class)

Dinner

Drinks

• 5 cups of water
• 1.5 glasses of wine

Get It Done ~ Daily Log 4/17

Today has been a long but productive day, and I like that.  Life needs a good balance between relaxation and productivity.  I woke up at 9am, went to breakfast with a friend at 10am, had a meeting at 11am, went to ballroom dancing with my friend at 12pm, got my resume critiqued, had my Italian culture class at 2, went to the gym at 4, had another meeting at 5:30, and now I'm finally home.

It was really hard to push myself to go to the gym today.  My friend backed out of the 4pm fitness class, and I didn't want to go by myself, so I biked home and sat down on the couch for a minute with the intention of going to the gym in the next 15 minutes.  I started to slouch and slowly close my eyes, loving how comfortable it felt to just sit there.  But I knew I'd regret it if I skipped out.  I forced myself up, quickly got dressed, and hauled ass to the gym before I changed my mind. And I'm so glad I did!

That's 3 days so far this week :) 3 days in a row! I'm so proud I have been pushing myself.  Tomorrow might be difficult to go to the gym, but I know I'll make it on either Friday or Saturday (or both!).  I've got the determination and I'm not going to waste it.

Tonight I'm going to try to get even more stuff done, perhaps with the motivation of a glass of wine. I have some reading to do, articles to write, research to do, etc.  Fingers crossed!



"And it was fun fun fun when we were drinking
It was fun fun fun when we were drunk
And it was fun fun fun when we were laughing
It was fun fun fun, oh it was fun

Oh well I look at you and say
It's the happiest that I've ever been
And I'll say I no longer feel I have to be James Dean
And she'll say
"Yah well I feel all pretty happy too"
And I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you

And it'll be love love love all through our bodies
And love love love all through our minds
And it be Love love love all over her face
And Love love love all over mine

Although maybe all these moments are just in my head
I'll be thinking ‘bout them as I'm lying in bed
And all that I believe, it might not even come true
But in my mind I'm havin' a pretty good time with you

In five years time I might not know you
In five years time we might not speak
In five years time we might not get along
In five years time you might just prove me wrong."
Breakfast

• Bagel Melt with Sundried Tomato Cream Cheese, Red Onion, Swiss, Tomato, & Avocado

Mini-Workout

• 1 hour Ballroom Dancing

Snack

• Apple

Workout

• 1 min run (6.4 mph), 2 min power-walk (4 mph) 7x
• 90 Jumping Jacks
• 20 Tricep Dips
• 20 Sit-ups
• 30 Sec Plank (3x)
• 30 Mountain Climbers
• 40 Crunches
• 10 Oblique Crunches (each side)
• 20 Standing Calf Raises w/ 20 lbs

Post-Workout Meal

• 2 Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream, 1/4 Avocado, & Black Bean Salsa

Dinner

• Chicken Taco Salad w/ Green Chili, Avocado, Tomato, Red Onion, Cucumber, & Sour Cream

Drinks

• 3 cups of coffee
• 2 cups of tea
• 9 cups of water
• 1 glass of wine

Highest Honors ~ Daily Log 4/16

Today is a VERY good day :D I went to breakfast with one friend and then coffee with another, and it was nice and peaceful to chill outside under the beautiful sky.  Since I had some spare time, I went in to the walk-ins for a senior graduation check-up.  I had to wait awhile, but it was SO worth it.  I found out that not only am I good to graduate in June and all of my requirements are complete, but also that with my 3.98 GPA I am graduating with "Highest Honors" in the top 2.5% of my class. I get to wear a special cord at graduation, and the honors will be shown on my diploma :D

Not only that, but the counselor insisted on telling me how big of an accomplishment this is.  I'm a transfer student, and she kept saying "I just want you to understand that an A at a community college and an A at this  University are not the same thing... It is a huge feat to get an A here. And you didn't get just one A, but straight A's in all the 2 years you've been here, along with some A+'s. It's very impressive!"  Needless to say, I left with the biggest smile on my face.

The counselor recommended that I also check in with my major's department, so I decided what the hell.  I biked over and asked for them to look over everything, and the psych counselor congratulated me on finishing my major and also added in that I had an amazing GPA, and congratulations.  I am GLOWING right now.

On top of everything, I am proud that I have pushed myself to go to the gym at least 3 days each week for the past 3 weeks.  It's paying off, and I'll only improve and become stronger both physically and mentally as the weeks go on.

Tonight the fun continues... Despite the high intensity wind that made it sound like the big bad wolf was going to blow down my house, I made it to the gym! I'm so proud of myself for that.  I made myself a delicious dinner, got to chill and watch How I Met Your Mother, and then I get to see Evil Dead tonight with a friend... let's hope I can sleep tonight!

"There's a spanner in the works, you know
You gotta step up your game to make it to the top
So go

Gotta little competition now
You're going to find it hard to cope with living on your own now
Oh oh, oh oh

Let's make this happen, girl
You gotta show the world that something good can work
And it can work for you
And you know that it will

Let's get this started girl
We're moving up, we're moving up
It's been a lot to change
But you will always get what you want."

Breakfast

• Tri-tip sandwich w/ grilled onions and hollandaise
• Fries (hey, I'm allowed them once in awhile!)

Lunch

• Cajun Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream, Black Bean Salsa, & 1/4 Avocado

Workout

• 1 min run (6 mph), 2 min power-walk (4 mph), 7x 
• 80 Jumping Jacks
• 50 Vertical Leg Crunches
• 20 Sit-ups
• 15 Tricep Dips
• 10 Side Lunges (each leg) w/ 10 lb weights
• 15 Leg Lifts & 10 Circle Lifts (each leg)
• 50 Bicycles
• 15 Wall Push-ups
• 80 Russian Twists

Dinner

• Broiled Swai with Goat Cheese, Brown Rice, Steamed Veggies

Drinks

• 3 cups of coffee
• 9 cups of water 

Find Another Way ~ Daily Log 4/15

I had a really strange night last night.  I went to bed around 11:30pm (which is actually early for me) and I was looking forward to a peaceful, warm and cozy slumber.  I woke up 3 times throughout the night for different reasons, such as a strange noise.  Unfortunately, these disturbances kept me from getting a restful sleep so I feel somewhat exhausted again today.  Which kind of sucks, considering today will be a long day.

I have a couple of hours in the office, ballroom dancing, my Italian culture class, and a fitness class.  After all of that I at least get to go home, but I have a bunch of stuff to get done.  I know I'll power through it with the help of some caffeine and good old determination.

"A window opens up and some one calls your name
But I can tell you don't know how to play this game

I know this isn't it
You'll hit your target someday
So now your on your own, won't you come back home
To see you're not that kind and find the strength, and find the strength
To find another way

So tell me what you need and I'll accommodate
But if too long goes by you just might be too late
An opportunity you can't afford to waste
So have the lines in your head first for heaven's sake."

~...From Later in the Day...~

Today actually turned out pretty good! Office hours sucked due to an angry customer, but ballroom dancing was a lot of fun and I got to meet up with friends between classes.  I tried a new 'healthy' energy drink called Amazon Energy which is made with Acai, and it was actually really good!  It supposedly has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, and it actually helped with my work out I think.

~...On Another Note...~

My thoughts and prayers go to all of those affected today by the Boston Marathon Explosions.  Although, I really do think events like this affect the entire nation... even the world.  I couldn't help but cry as I saw the pictures, heard the personal accounts, watched the newscasts... The fact that someone could do this hurts me deep down to the core.  All of those people's lives changed forever due to the cruelty of another.  It's sickening.  I pray and hope that all of those people find strength in themselves and in their loved ones and find a way to make sense of the chaos.  My heart goes out to them all.

"They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that's fading away
Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive

I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please..."

Breakfast

• Oikos Cafe Latte Greek Yogurt
• Apple
• 2 Cuties

Lunch

• Cajun Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream, Black Bean Salsa, & 1/4 Avocado

Snack

• Strawberry Yopa! Greek Yogurt w/ Granola

Workout

• "Core Cardio" Fitness Class - this always succeeds in kicking my ass! By the end of it, it feels like all of the water I've consumed during the day is dripping off of my face.  It makes me feel powerful at the end of each work out, and I know I have done something great for my body.  I can also feel myself getting stronger; this is the 4th time I've taken it, and I'm already doing better than I did the first day! My endurance is definitely building, and I am excited!

Dinner

• Broiled Swai with Crumbled Goat Cheese
• Recipe
• 1 Swai Filet
• Lemon Pepper
• Butter or Margerine
• Fish Seasoning
• Parsley
• Goat Cheese

Place Swai onto foil on a baking sheet.  Put a couple thin slices of butter or margine on top of the filet.  Sprinkle goat cheese onto the filet, to taste.  Add lemon pepper, parsley, and fish seasoning (I just happened to have this on hand and it tastes pretty good).  Bake in a preheated oven at 400 degrees.  Bake until flaky, usually around 20 minutes.

• Brown Rice
• Steamed Zucchini, Mushrooms, Asparagus, & Spinach

Snack

• 1/2 Peach
• 1/4 Avocado

Drinks

• 5 cups of water
• 1 cup of coffee
• Acai Amazon Energy
• 1.5 glass of wine

Over My Head ~ Daily Log 4/14

Made it to the gym again today! That's 4 days this week, which is good, especially if I keep it up. I'm exhausted because I stayed up way too late for the fourth day in a row, but I'll make it through.  I had work for 7 hours, then some reading, laundry, and maybe try to figure out how to do my taxes. Bleh.

Today was a really weird day, and I don't really know how I feel about it. I've had a great time this week with my friends, and things are good.  But today is weird... I guess we all have these days. There were a few strange instances at work today, but I just feel off for some reason in general.  I kind of just want to lie in bed, but then again it also sounds kind of miserable.  I feel like I need to keep myself really busy in order to reach some sort of content equilibrium.  


I know I am a strong person and that I will pull myself out of this funk, but I just hope that happens sooner rather than later.  Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that you're lucky to be alive, and not to sweat the small things.  Sometimes you just have to cry or kick-box it out.  I know I'll be okay.  Life has a way of turning every bad experience into a good thing, and if you can be in control of your emotions (rather than letting them control you) then you're on the right track.  I'm nearly there.  Something from a past Psychology lesson seems relevant here... It is important to realize that your reactions/feelings are a result of your beliefs about what happened, not what actually happened.

"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped.  Most of the time it just happened to me without me ever seeking it." ~ Audrey Hepburn



"Never let your fear decide your fate.  
I say ya kill your heroes and
Fly, fly, baby don't cry.
No need to worry cause
Everybody will die.
Every day we just
Go, go, baby don't go.
Don't you worry we
Love you more than you know."
Workout

• 30 min Elliptical
• 15 min Bike

Breakfast

• Hashbrowns w/ 1 Fried Egg, Avocado, & Sour Cream

Lunch

• Santa Fe Salad (280 calories)

Snack

• 2 Cuties
• Strawberry Chobani Greek Yogurt

Drinks

• 6 cups of water
• 4 cups of tea
• 2 cups of coffee
• 1 glass of wine

On My Way ~ Daily Log 4/12

The last couple of days have been great :) My birthday was a lot of fun, and last night I got to go downtown and get tons of free birthday shots with some great friends.  It was a night to remember, and tonight the fun continues! I woke up (no hangover, yay!), went to breakfast with a friend, laid out in the sun, and even made it to a fitness class.  It kicked my ass but it felt good!  Getting together with the friends again tonight, and I feel content :)  It was such a beautiful day.

I'm on my way to an ever increasing spiral of betterment and happiness.  I am in control of my life, and nothing can stop me!

Breakfast

• Chicken Pesto Crepe

Snack

• Protein Guava Smoothie

Workout

• Core Cardio Fitness Class

Dinner

• Pasta with Chicken, Zucchini, Mushroom, & Asparagus

Drinks

• 7 cups of water (& counting)
• Dirty Chai Latte
• Booze

End of an Era ~ Daily Log 4/9

It's my last day being 21... and this is so weird.  I remember how excited I was to turn 21, and now its over.  Sure, I have the same privileges as a 21 year old, but being 22 is different.  I don't know... I know things will be the same, but its become clear to me that the older you get, the less birthdays seem to matter.  Last year I was planning my birthday for weeks.  Now, my birthday is tomorrow, and I still have no idea what the hell I'm going to do.  Its strange.

In other news, today is a really chill day.  I didn't wake up until 11, I had a fitness class at 12, then I don't have work til 5:30.  The workout kicked my ass for sure, I can already feel the soreness in my abs and arms.  I'm happy that I'm taking steps in my life to improve things, little by little. If I can keep this up, then I'm golden!

Breakfast

• Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal
• Apple

Workout

• Circuit Training Fitness Class

Lunch

• Broiled Swai with melted Goat Cheese, Brown Rice, and Steamed Veggies

Snack

• 2 Cuties
• Greek Yogurt

Dinner

• Santa Fe Salad (280 calories)

Drinks

• 4 cups of coffee
• 8 cups of Sassy Water
• Wine to bring in my birthday!

Tornado & Jurassic Park ~ Daily Log 4/8

It is windier than hell outside and unfortunately today is one of my longest days.  Even simply walking from my house to my car is miserable, so I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to make it to school.  Either I bike and nearly die on my way, or I have to pay to take the bus and hope that its not terribly crowded so that I can actually get a spot.  However, if I take the bus, that means that I'll have to walk home after my work out at the end of the day. Decisions, decisions!

So today I have office for 2 hours, then ballroom dancing, then class, then a fitness class... all with an hour in between.  I'm hoping to make it to see a guidance counselor and also sign up for my lab class, but we shall see. 

I'm trying to stay positive and not let the small things (like the raging wind) get to me, but all I really want to do is crawl back into bed and cuddle up with the covers. 

Later in the day...

I made it to school, but I couldn't bring myself to bike.  I hadn't gotten a bus pass for the new quarter yet, so luckily the bus driver was nice and let me ride for free anyways.  My ballroom dancing class was a lot of fun, so it brought my mood up a bit.  Today we danced the Samba, and it definitely got me sweating! It was definitely more difficult than last week, so I'll probably try and make it to office hours on Friday to practice

I'm feeling better, I grabbed some coffee, and my next class should be entertaining... so all is well.

...Even Later...

OMG. I saw Jurassic Park for the first time ever, and it was in 3D! I can't believe I haven't seen it up until now, it was amazing! And I'm not ashamed to say that I definitely jumped at at least 3 different points.  I'm almost even a little glad I didn't see it until it came out again in theaters, it just added to an awesome experience!  Great end to a productive day :) Although now I'm in a movie mood so I'm not doubting that I'll stay up way too late watching another.

Breakfast

• Hashbrowns w/ 1 Fried Egg, Sour Cream, & 1/4 Avocado

Snack

• Apple
• 2 Cuties

Workout

• 50 min Ballroom Dancing (Samba)

Lunch

• Passion Fruit Greek Yogurt

Workout

• "Core Cardio" Fitness Class - kicked my ass! x.x

Dinner

• Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream, Black Bean Salsa, & 1/2 Avocado

Snack

• 2 Cuties
• Popcorn

Drinks

• 8 cups of 'Sassy Water'
• 3 cups of coffee 

Recovery ~ Daily Log 4/7

Its been 3 days worth of relaxing, hanging with friends, and drinking.  Of course that means I didn't make it to the gym Friday and Saturday, but I am still proud that I made it 3 days this week.  And this next week is even better because fitness classes are starting up again! They are so much more fun than just going on the treadmill or elliptical, and it mixes things up so that your body doesn't plateau.

Today I slept in til 10:30 and it felt glorious.  Yeah, I could've been more productive... but I feel like I needed that "me" time to just lay lazily in bed and think about whatever.  I work for 7 hours today which will be weird since I haven't worked in nearly a week.  I'll get to see some colleagues who I've missed (one I haven't seen for over 2 weeks) and it'll probably be more of a fun day than a busy day.

Oh, and my birthday is this week... Holy shit.  I can't believe this last year has passed by so quickly.

Breakfast

• Hashbrowns with 1/4 Avocado, 1 Fried Egg, & Sour Cream

Snack

• Strawberries
• 2 Cuties

Lunch

• Santa Fe Salad (280 calories)

Snack

• Yoplait 100 cal. Mixed Berry Greek Yogurt

Dinner

• Baked Swai topped w/ Lemon Pepper & Goat Cheese
• Brown Rice
• Steamed Asparagus, Zucchini, Mushrooms, & Spinach

Water Intake

• 6 cups of water (& counting)
• 4 cups of coffee 
• 2 cups of tea

Song of the Day: The Fray - Over My Head (Cable Car)

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and it's effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves.

Motivation ~ Daily Log 4/4

So last night I had some friends over, we had some drinks and played some games.  After they left, I couldn't help but watch way too many episodes of How I Met Your Mother until 3am.  Here's my favorite quote from last night (Season 5, Episode 10):

"Student: Maggie may finally be available, but what about you, Professor Mosby? Are you ready for a serious relationship?
Ted: Totally. I mean... I think so. Maybe. I don't know. What do you guys think? What does being 'ready' even mean? I thought I was 'ready' last year. I wound up getting left at the altar.  I'll be honest, guys. I'm a little scared.
Student: We're all scared, Professor Mosby.  Doesn't being scared let you know you're on to something important?
Ted: Yeah. I mean, if you're not scared, you're not taking a chance.  And if you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing, right?
Student: I think you're ready, bro."

Oh, and if you haven't seen this video, then you're missing out on life a little bit:


Since I stayed up way too late watching this show, I didn't end up getting out of bed til just before noon.  Luckily for me, today is a really easy day for me so I made it to the gym and now I'm on my way to my only class.  Later, its thirsty thursday with friends :) The work out makes up for beer, right?

In other news... I found out that a mud run 5k is coming up.  If this was me in the past, I would've said "Oh" and moved on with my life.  However, today was different.  I looked into it, and the only thing keeping me back is finding someone to do it with.  Regardless of whether or not I go, I'm proud of myself that I actually believe I could do it. Perhaps this is leading me into a new, more active and fun future... and I can't wait :)

Breakfast

• Hard-Boiled Egg

Workout

• 1 min run (6 mph), 2 min power-walk (4 mph) 7x
• 100 Jumping Jacks
• 25 Vertical Leg Crunches
• 20 Wall Push-ups
• 100 Russian Twists w/ 10 lb weight
• 20 Second Side Plank (each side)
• 10 Lunge Split Jumps
• 40 High Knees

Post-Workout Meal

• Hashbrowns w/ 1 Fried Egg, Sour Cream, & Black Bean Salsa

Snacks

• 1 Cutie
• Baked Asparagus
• Strawberries

Dinner

• 2 Chicken Tacos w/ Sour Cream & Black Bean Salsa

Drinks

• 1 cup of coffee
• 6 cups of water (& counting)
• Beer... so much beeeeer.

Back to It ~ Daily Log 4/3

Today is going to be an incredibly productive day - sometimes you need those days.  I look forward to conquering it by keeping an optimistic mood throughout.  I have a meeting at 11, ballroom dancing at 12, class at 2, gym hopefully at 3:30, another meeting at 5:30, and hopefully see my friends after.  I'm really excited for the ballroom dancing because I've never had the chance to do it! And it seems like a great way to stay active, engage in a new hobby, and meet new people.  I'm crashing the class but a good friend of mine who is a TA has assured me that they always need people, so fingers crossed.

*update from later*

As I mentioned, I went to a ballroom dance class today. I was expecting it to be a smaller clas, maybe 20-30 people.  I was shocked when I showed up and there were at least over 100 people there, men and women.  I'm going to be honest, I started to panic for a minute.  Thoughts started racing through my head: I'd make a fool out of myself, I'd fall, I wold be the odd one out for a dance partner, and oh god I had to actually dance with someone?! I started perspiring before the class even began.

I saw my friend across the room dancing (she is a TA for the class) and we made eye contact, and the first thought that run through my head was "oh shit now I can't leave."  I started taking deep breaths and tried convincing myself it'd be okay.  I remember trying to come up with a good excuse to leave, but then I realized I was stepping out of my comfort zone... and that was a good thing. How can I ever expect my life to change for the better if I stay with what I'm comfortable with?  That awkward feeling that arises in these moments is the cue that you're about to learn something new.

With this in mind, I bit my lip, stood up a little bit straighter, and decided I would do this - and I would conquer it.  We all got in a line, men (leads) on one side of the room and women (follows) on the other.  The TAs stood in the middle and showed us the steps.  We started with classical ballroom, then later we did the latin cha cha.  We learned the steps on our own, then the leads would come over and choose a dance partner - the dreaded moment.

Luckily, not one person was left alone!  All of us looked awkward, shy at dancing clumsily with a complete stranger, but it led to big smiles and new friends.  I know I screwed up a billion times, but that's a part of what this class is all about.  I got to dance with 3 different leads, all of whom were very friendly, enthusiastic and just as nervous as I was.  I left the class with a huge smile on my face, and I can not wait for the class next week!  I'm even tempted to go to office hours on Friday - I have NEVER gone to office hours for a class!

Even as I write this I'm smiling, proud that I took this small leap and motivated to keep making small changes in my life to make the most of my precious time here on this earth.

Life is beautiful - embrace it!

Breakfast

• 2 Tacos w/ Chicken, Sour Cream, & Black Bean Salsa

Lunch

• Mediterranean Wrap w/ Kalamata Olives, Lettuce, Red Pepper, & Feta

Workout

• 1 min run (6 mph), 2 min power-walk (3.7 mph) 7x
• 90 Jumping Jacks
• 20 Tricep Dips
• 40 Sit-ups
• 30 sec Plank (4x)
• 40 Crunches
• 10 Oblique Crunches (each side)
• 20 Standing Calf Raises

Post-Workout Meal

• Artichoke w/ 1/2 tbs low fat mayo
• Hard-boiled Egg
• Cilantro Lime Shrimp

Snack

• Grapes

Dinner
Water Intake

• 6 cups of water (& counting)
• 3.5 cups of coffee (& counting)

Ditching Already ~ Daily Log 4/2

This quarter I signed up for 2 extra classes just in case my counselor says I need one of them (its almost impossible to see a counselor the first week).  One of them was at 9:30am this morning... I convinced myself I didn't need to go.  My next class is at 11am, and I'm really tempted to ditch... but I'm going to go x.x Its right next door to the area where I want to sign up for a wine tasting course which *fingers crossed* is hopefully not full.  Haha who knew I could be so lazy on the second day of the quarter?

So today I have class and work, and since I was *ahem* lazy I didn't make it to the gym this morning.  I get off around 9pm tonight and I need to go grocery shopping, so by the time I get back the gym will be closed. But perhaps if I am motivated I'll get some strength training in at home :) Luckily I'm on my feet all day at work, so that's better than sitting!

Its an absolutely beautiful day out, and especially after yesterday (I got to go to the pier!) I am absolutely in love with this area.

Breakfast

• 2 Ground Beef Tacos (yeah, still haven't grocery shopped x.x)

Lunch

• Chipotle Bowl w/ Chicken

Dinner

• 280 calorie salad

Water Intake

• 9 cups of coffee
• 8 cups of water
• 1 glass of wine

New Quarter, New Me ~ Daily Log 4/1

I am really excited about this quarter.  It is my last first day of my undergraduate college experience! And I'm ready to make it count. My course load is a lot lighter than it ever has been before, and I'm going to take advantage of that to make the most of my time here.

Last night I got to watch 2 great wine movies - Bottle Shock and Corked.  The former was about how Napa became so popular in the 70's (it stars Alan Rickman!) and the latter was a mockumentary about the wine industry and how ridiculous some of the winemakers are.  Both were very entertaining and I'd recommend them (while drinking wine of course!).

Today will be a rather simple day, but I'm going to try and get a lot done.  I'm currently working in the office for a couple hours, I'm hoping to have a quick lunch then run to the gym, go to class, and then get some stuff done.  Maybe try a new recipe later! :)

Oh, and I can't believe my birthday is coming up so quickly! This year has passed by so fast, and I've had a lot of fun.  This next year will hold a lot of surprises for me, but I'm ready for it! Hardships make you stronger, and stepping out of your comfort zone facilitates learning.  I am SO ready! My life is just beginning.

Just recently, an old friend called me a "fat, ugly bitch." I took a look in the mirror today and smiled at my reflection.  I'm by no means perfect, but I do my best that I can every day and I am proud of who I am :) I can only get better every day.

Breakfast

• Hard-boiled egg
• Yopa! Black Cherry Greek Yogurt with 9 Whole Grain Granola

Lunch

• 2 Ground Beef Tacos seasoned w/ Chili Powder & Cayenne, garnished w/ Sour Cream, Tomato, & Onion (I didn't have much in the fridge!)

Workout

• 30 Minutes Elliptical (resistance 6, program glute)
• 100 Jumping Jacks
• 50 Crunches
• 30 Second Plank
• 20 Tricep Dips

Post-Workout Meal

• Hashbrowns w/ 1 Fried Egg & Sour Cream

Afternoon Meal

• 1 Shrimp Taco & Calamari

Dinner

• 3 small street tacos

Drinks

• 8 cups of water
• 1 cup of coffee
• Wine & 1 beer