Shadows ~ Daily Log 4/27

Fairy tales are lies. You grow up watching Disney movies and learning that love just happens and that your prince charming will find you, be the perfect man for you, and you will live happily ever after. But that just doesn't happen.  The older you get, the more this becomes clear. 

Relationships take a lot of work, and not everyone is ready for one.  But how do you know if you're ready?

My last relationship was both amazing and horrific.  We had some beautiful times, and I truly considered him my best friend.  I thought I had found something special, unique, and lasting.  Then things would begin to go downhill... but it was so easy to just try and move past these things and go back to the good times.  I would always tell myself that all of the bad times were temporary and unusual, but I think deep down I knew they weren't.  It was evident that our relationship was toxic to the both of us, but neither of us wanted to let go because of that sweet addiction to the feeling we had when we first started.  And so we destroyed each other.  I became terrified of him.

I will always love him, and I know there will be times that I wish I could just hold him close.  But with maturity comes the responsibility of knowing when to let something go.  Knowing when something is slowly tearing you apart and that you can't take it any longer.  Knowing that fear isn't healthy.

I am doing my best to live day by day with the focus of bettering myself and appreciating everything that I have been blessed with.  I'm not going to lie... it is not easy sometimes.  But life isn't easy, and obviously love is even harder.  It is something we all strive for, yet few succeed in for long periods of time. 

May we all find the strength, courage, and determination to live every day to its fullest and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and accepting enough to appreciate and recognize love when we find it.

"Those that go searching for love only manifest heir own lovelessness.  And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love.  And they never have to seek for it." ~D.H. Lawrence

 

"My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more.  It's happened before, it will happen again, I'm sure.  When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive - I'll find love again." ~Paulo Coelho

 

"We waste time looking for the perfect love, instead of creating the perfect love." ~Tom Robbins

 

"Find someone worthy of your love, who will treat you with the same amount of respect and love you will give... because not everyone deserves your love."

 

Breakfast

• 2 Spring Rolls

Lunch

• Cajun Shrimp (lots & lots of deliciousness)

Snack

• Cheese & Crackers

Dinner

• Teppan - Scallops, some Fried Rice, Vegetables (I could barely eat any)

Drinks

• 7 cups of water
• 5 cups black tea
• 1 glass of wine